i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
