I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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