I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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