week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
