I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
