mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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