glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will pee on everything he values.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
