dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
