Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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