Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
