do herpes really smell.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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