Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm like, not good at living.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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