i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need water and some morals
He shit in the fireplace
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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