She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
