I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
