I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
