did you get engaged???
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
