why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
No subtext here. People are naked.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she pinky promised me she was 18
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
