Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Screwed.edu
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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