Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
