she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
