K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
