Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
