dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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