so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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