you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
