office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
