Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
