Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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