I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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