He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
