He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it hurts more in the daytime
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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