I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
that may or may not have been my penis.
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