He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
