Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
