i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
