you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
