u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
