38 yer olds are good kisserssss
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
