do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
