My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
