Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
