get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
