let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
