I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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