How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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