so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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