saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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