he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
