no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
