I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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