You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
